


Kusanagi and the Three Bears

by kamja



Category: SMAP
Genre: Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 17:52:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6339379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamja/pseuds/kamja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I fulfilled a prompt that essentially asked for, "Kusanagi gets trapped in a bear pit". To this day I don't know if I walked right into an in-joke (as SMAP is not my fandom) or if this really was just random internet stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kusanagi and the Three Bears

It had been one week since Kusanagi fell into the bear pit.

"Don't worry!" Nakai had shouted, oblivious to the tourists frantically snapping pictures of the scene. "We'll get you out!"

Yeah, he said not to worry, but so far no help was coming. It seemed like the zoo keepers were on vacation or something. So Kusanagi sighed and leaned back on a log - no, this one was too hard - so he sighed again and leaned back on another log - no, no, this one was covered in too much moss, it was too soft - and he sighed for a third time, and by now all the bears were watching him with detached interest as he settled by yet another log.

Ah, just right.

He'd claimed that spot, and it was all his. At first another bear, one he called Smokey, kept trying to take a nap in the same spot. But then Kusanagi remembered something from a nature show, and after a couple of pisses on the ground Smokey had stayed away. Nice. A chemical white picket fence.

It was a good thing that bears kinda ate the same things that people ate - fruit and meat and stuff. No honey, though, which was a little disappointing. Maybe it wasn't in the zoo budget. Within a few days of falling into the bear pit, Kusanagi learned to grab the tasty bits as quick as possible. There was a roly-poly bear he called Yogi who seemed to move at the speed of light whenever he smelled something good. Kusanagi watched him warily as he munched on an apple. Yogi yawned and sunned his belly not too far away.

After eating, Kusanagi often climbed one of the trees in the bear pit. They weren't high enough to help him escape, but at least he could be on the lookout for someone to come rescue him. And it kept him above the ground, where certain gastrointestinal acrobatics typically took place after a meal. One particular bear was very good at it. Kusanagi named him Winnie. The Poo.

A light summer breeze came by, bringing the scent of grass and popcorn to his suffering nostrils. Any day now.


End file.
